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Bullet placement vs caliber adaquacy, story

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#1 wwjmbd

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 11:52 PM

Stole this from another site but it cracked me up and I wanted to share it.

With all the talk around here about the spectacular performance of .22 caliber varmint bullets on big game(and light for caliber at that) I really wanted to find the answer to this myself.

So I'd like to tell you all about my morning.

I was up early. I did some things around the house like laundry, neck turning some 7mm RUM brass...you know, the normal, everyday grind. Then the idea came to me. I wonder if what determines a "clean kill" is all about bullet placement? I decided to find out. Once and for all!

I threw my .17 HMR in the truck right next to my A-Bolt .300 Winchester Magnum that I had accidentally dropped in a cow pie yesterday. There was cow pie stuff dried all over it and it really stunk up the cab. I left it on there because it seemed to make the rifle more stealthy. Anyway, I drove down to an area north of town that has some farm raised Bison just off of a busy highway. Folks stop a lot there to take pictures of them. I stopped and got out of the truck with my HMR and walked over to the high fence and began glassing. The look on the faces of the folks taking photos was one for the books...

The herd didn't seem to be wary at all. I guess they haven't been hunted in a while. I glassed the entire herd and saw a ton of cows. Bringing up the rear, herding his harem was the herd bull. He looked frantic, hot and tired of running off all of the smaller satellite bulls trying to steal his cows. They're rutting right now. I ranged him at 296 yards then reached for the HMR. I took a rest off of the square high wire fencing. I let the crosshairs settle in behind his right front shoulder and began to squeeze the trigger. I wanted to make a good shot with perfect placement to test this theory. Believe me, it was very difficult filtering out the screams and yelling of the folks taking the pictures! Kinda like in Caddyshack when Danny was lining up his match-winning putt to the shouts of "miss it Noonan!"

When the gun went off it surprised me..a perfectly executed shot. I saw the 17 grain bullet hit the bull right where I wanted it; there was a puff of dust off of his hide. It was a "bang, flop". Or more like a "Pop, flop". People scattered back to their cars. I was shocked that no one applauded. I thought to myself, "Self, this 'placement' deal has some merit!".

I quickly drove over the fence and right up to the beast and began field dressing it into the coolers I brought. Since I was alone, it took me much longer than I had expected, about 13 minutes to do a good job. I love buffalo meat!

On my way out, a smallish herd of field mice ran out in front of the truck on the dirt road. I had to stop the truck to let them pass. Some of them were definitely Boone and Crockett. Since I was just meat hunting, I picked out one of the younger ones and reached for a rifle. The one that looked good and that I had a clear shot at was still pink with very little hair. The rifle I came up with was the .300 WM. After ranging them at 25 feet, or about 8 yards, I dialed in the proper dope into the scope and took a rest off of my side mirror. The wind was perfect; they had no idea I was even in the same county! I was so excited that I made a poor shot. It was either that or the crusty cow pie stuff I was trying to get out of the corner of my mouth after I cheeked the rifle. The 200 grain GameKing hit the adolescent mouse too far back and he was off and running. I got out and tried to track him but the 8" tall weeds in the area made tracking a nightmare.

I never found him before the police came.

The cops confiscated my camera and entered it into evidence along with the Bison carcass. They were astounded at the size of the exit hole the HMR made!
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#2 Tripper

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Posted 04 November 2012 - 01:12 AM

Satire is my favorite type of comedy!
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Tripper
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