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This older man was walking this woods road hunting birds when he noticed these bushes moving back and forth, he watched for a moment then this doe came out shaking her head and she said "thats the last time i do that for two bucks".
 

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Hey Tom what do you think of this one!!LOL
There was a Canadian taxidermist who was on vacation down Louisianna and decided to go have a drink at the local pub, he walked in and up to the bar and asked for a drink.
The locals knew he wasn't from there and weren't to happy about this outsider looking so comfortable in their lil town.
After some discussions one of the Big Burly locals walk up to this guy with bad intentions and ask him where hes from and he tells him Canada, so what do you do in Canada? he asks in a cocky way.Well i'm a taxidermist the Canadian tells him..So you drive taxis the guy askes? No i mount animals for money he tells him, what kind of animals the american asks?All animals, i do em all says the canadian proudly.The american looks him in the eyes and reaches out his hand to shake, and hollars out "No worries guys Hes one of us". RR
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hey Tom what do you think of this one!!LOL
There was a Canadian taxidermist who was on vacation down Louisianna and decided to go have a drink at the local pub, he walked in and up to the bar and asked for a drink.
The locals knew he wasn't from there and weren't to happy about this outsider looking so comfortable in their lil town.
After some discussions one of the Big Burly locals walk up to this guy with bad intentions and ask him where hes from and he tells him Canada, so what do you do in Canada? he asks in a cocky way.Well i'm a taxidermist the Canadian tells him..So you drive taxis the guy askes? No i mount animals for money he tells him, what kind of animals the american asks?All animals, i do em all says the canadian proudly.The american looks him in the eyes and reaches out his hand to shake, and hollars out "No worries guys Hes one of us". RR
Thats a good one pal, i could see that in west virginia also,lol. Tell the boys in small town usa your a taxidermist and there your friends forever.
 

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A man is out on the shore gathering lobsters when a DFO officer walks up.
The DFO officer clears his throat and states that lobster season is closed, and that the man was in a lot of trouble.
The man tells the DFO officer that he is not harvesting lobsters, and is in fact walking his pet lobster.
The DFO officer thinks to himself, I gotta hear this one, so asks the man to explain.
The man tells the officer that he lets them swim around for a bit, then he whistles and they come back.
The officer quite amused, asks the man to demonstrate, and the man obliges by putting the lobster in the water.
After several minutes pass, the DFO officer asks the man to whistle for his lobster.
The man replies.. "What Lobster?"
 

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A couple have reserved a remote island cabin on a lake for a weekend getaway.

Hubby comes back from fishing and beaches the boat with his equipment all layin' about in the boat.

Wife: ''if you don't mind, I'm gonna go out on the lake by myself to read a book and catch some rays''

Hubby: '' go right ahead, I'll go and clean the morning's catch and prepare a great romantic meal for when you come back''.

...so the wife takes off and anchors down in a a cove with the boat and starts reading her book...right then and there, a game warden comes over with his boat and wants to charge her for fishing without a licence.

Wife: ''I don't understand officer, I'm not fishing, I'm only relaxing and reading a book?!''

Warden: ''well I don't know Ma'am, you have the gear and all with ya''...

immediately, the women starts to panic, stands up in the boat and yells: ''RAPE, RAPE!!!''

Warden: ''what are you doing, keep it down, I'm not raping you, what's with the illegal accusations?''

Wife: ''....well I don't know officer, you seem to have the gear and all with ya......''

 

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Hey Tom what do you think of this one!!LOL
There was a Canadian taxidermist who was on vacation down Louisianna and decided to go have a drink at the local pub, he walked in and up to the bar and asked for a drink.
The locals knew he wasn't from there and weren't to happy about this outsider looking so comfortable in their lil town. After some discussions one of the Big Burly locals walk up to this guy with bad intentions and ask him where hes from and he tells him Canada, so what do you do in Canada? he asks in a cocky way.Well i'm a taxidermist the Canadian tells him..So you drive taxis the guy askes? No i mount animals for money he tells him, what kind of animals the american asks?All animals, i do em all says the canadian proudly.The american looks him in the eyes and reaches out his hand to shake, and hollars out "No worries guys Hes one of us". RR
For a minute there I thought the joke was about a guy moose hunting in zone 7
 

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A frantic call comes into the 911 operator...
caller...Theres just been a horrible accident, I was out hunting with my buddy and I shot him and I don't know what to do.

operator.... Sir Where exactly are you located and do you need an ambulance

caller....I'm not sure, I don't think he's breathing I think he's dead...

operator...Sir, you think he's dead? Can you please go and make sure ?

caller ...okay just hold on......BANG.....okay he's dead, what do I do now ?
 
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